Author name: Rachel Watson

Over the past few years I have worked with a few coaches on a one-to-one basis and as part of group programmes. They were great. I learned a lot and made huge changes and stretched myself.

And now? Now I am over advice. Any person who even looks like they might be telling me what I could do is put into some imaginary bin in my brain. No more advice please.

I’m totally aware I do it too! On my social media and this very blog I’m all advice happy suggesting that you might like to get some fresh air or give yourself a hug or write a compliment list. Put my hypocritical butt in your brain bin if you are all adviced-out too.

If you know why I’m feeling this way I’d love to hear your ideas (just not your advice lol) and if you feel the same tell me, I strongly suspect I am not the only one.

Personally, January was a total sh!t-meet-fan month and doing the pushing necessary to maintain normality despite it has brought me right to the end of my tether. Maybe that’s why I don’t welcome any more suggestions on what to DO. I’ve been DO-ing.

If we’re being honest here the last two years have been nothing but a keep pushing, get through it situation and all my push has gone.

We don’t always have to be in a state of growth and expansion.

We can be still, gather our strength, take stock of our situation and prepare for the coming season of growth. Not all four seasons of the year are about blooming. I’m noticing that the first signs of Spring are appearing but oh, so slowly. A little green shoot here, a tiny white drop there it’s unfolding just a smidge each day.

I’m reminding myself that I don’t need to be in full flourish 365 days of the year. The tree that will soon be laden with the pink blossoms I love so much is still bare. And it’s still beautiful.

Plus advice has a rather limited impact anyway. All I can ever really say is what has worked for me. You, being an entirely different human being with different experiences, interactions with the world and personality could do every single thing that I do and have a completely different outcome.

I can advise you to go shake it off when really what you need is a quiet place to sit in the dark for 2 minutes. My husband is a fan of naps. They ‘reset’ his brain and help him to function (and he’s not just being a cheeky git!) Naps make me feel grumpy and even more tired. So his advice for me to nap would be terrible and my advice for him to sing really loud for 10 minutes would be even worse, especially for those who had to listen.

So, my dear, there’s no advice from me today. If you’re tired of being told what you should do – I hear you. I’m tired too.

As always, you have my love.

Time is a frustrating and magical thing. We are often told it’s our most precious possession but I’ve yet to figure out how to possess it. 

When I’m binge watching Netflix or scrolling social media an hour only lasts 15 minutes. 

When I’m doing a chore or job I don’t want to do (I’m looking at you tax return) then an hour lasts DAAAAAYYYSSSS. 

There is a never ending list of “would like to”, “should do” and “could do” tasks and I find it so easy to become overwhelmed, throw my hands in the air and say

“I don’t have the time for that!” 

And sure, today I probably don’t have time for ALL the things. But here’s two truth bombs that I need to explode in my brain. 

Truth Bomb 1: A lot of that list is junk filler stuff because secretly I’m comfortable perpetuating the insurmountable to do list. Getting it done would be scary. What then?

Truth Bomb 2: I DO have time for the important things. Sorry, but admit it. 

Let’s say my list has these things on it

• Write blog posts
• Edit client A’s video
• Book cute house for client B’s shoot
• Find a networking event
• Reply to enquiry email
• Make a cute email sign off
• Order frames for client C
• Phone gallery manager
• Email pdf guide and price list to client D
• Post on Instagram
• Redo my Calendly colours so it matches my brand

You may say that’s a really manageable list but I could easily look at that and EUGH declare to the sky that I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT. Because, let’s face it, I’m also doing 3 loads of washing, picking up kids from school, phoning my sister, walking the dog, cleaning the bathroom and ordering a replacement charger for the laptop (4^th one in the last year). Gender-based chore inequities aside, the foot stomping Rachel child who glances over that and says nope needs those truth bombs. 

Truth Bomb 1: I would like to find a networking event for later in the year. I don’t actually have to do that today. Redoing Calendly colours isn’t really important is it Rach? Scratch it.  Ditto for the email sign off. 

That’s better already. So much of the to do list is a strange kind of “should” do list. But it’s not OUR shoulds – it’s someone else’s. Or, worse still, what we think someone else would say we should do. 

Hello perfectionism? Everything must be perfect before I do this little task. Get my website EXACTLY  right, have my funnel in place, redo the graphic here, tweak the image there. Get all that chatter in the bin if it’s stopping you from actually DOING the thing. 

And that icky admission that my scary to do list validates me in some way? Put. It. In. The. Bin. I do not need to be overworked to feel like a professional.

I’m going to say that again a bit louder:

I do not need to be overworked to feel like a professional

Truth Bomb 2: You do have the time. Instead of saying “I don’t have time for editing client A’s video” try saying “I don’t prioritise editing client A’s video” and see how that lands. It’s not true is it? Really you’re saying the same thing but somehow we accept as a concrete truth that we just don’t have time. Cos today I found time to scroll Instagram. Tough love time, I prioritised scrolling Instagram over my client’s work. Ew. 

NUANCE MOMENT

Sometimes you really, truly don’t have the time. So what then? First, can you drop anything off the list or push it back? Second, If you are in the position of getting someone else to help with your work or personal load then yes, yes do that. Ask for help, allow people around you to ease your burden. If you can’t have others help in either a free-cos-they’re-related-to-you or paid basis then consider how much you’re taking on and if it can be adjusted. Something will have to give or you will burn out and that’s no fun for anyone. What are you willing to give? Please let the answer to that not be your mental, physical or emotional health. 

Also, I’ve used Netflix and Social Media here as if they are “bad” ways to spend time. Our activities have no moral bearing on our goodness or otherwise. Netflix is a valid and awesome way to spend time. No judgement. No shame. 

Does any part of this ring true for you? Try out “I don’t prioritise X,Y,Z” with your to do list and see if it changes the way you feel about your tasks and let me know. 

Love you x